By Duke London
Marijuana prices keep sliding stateside, but Americans still aren’t getting their bud for as cheap as one neighborhood in the UK, who caught a bake of epic proportions Tuesday night — for free.
Imagine being in your cottage on a regular Tuesday night, probably eating tolerating meat pie and arguing about what to watch on the telly. When suddenly, your nostrils get bombarded by the strongest waft of weed you ever did smell. Residents in a Weaste, Salford cul-de-sac experienced just that, as a nearby home that was housing a sizable marijuana grow experienced a blazing fire, filling the area with deliciously dank smoke.
A resident who wished to remain anonymous commented, “It was very strong, you could feel it on your lungs.” The mysterious bystander added, “Someone was joking that we should have been grateful because it was a ‘free high.’”
Yes, they were #blessed for sure, especially considering no one was seriously injured.
“I’ve lived here for 17 years. I can’t believe there was a cannabis farm there,” 53-year old Gaynor Turner told The Mirror. “I was sat in my house with my granddaughter when I saw the flames. The dog was hanging out of a window trying to escape. The smell was horrendous – it was so strong. Once the flames were really high and the smoke was coming from the roof, you could really smell it. It was disgusting.”
While we couldn’t track down the specific strain our unlucky grower was cultivating, we’d like to assume it didn’t smell “horrendous” or “disgusting.” Maybe Gaynor has been out of the weed game for a minute and meant to say skunky or — our favorite — earthy.
A Greater Manchester Police spokesman confirmed there was a cannabis farm in the home and that the 43-year old man who lives there was being held pending further investigation.
Now that the fire has been put out, the children have stopped vomiting, and the collective residents have all entered the “questioning everything” phase of their high, let’s figure out how this blaze even started.
If you go all the way back to the eyewitness quotes from Gaynor Turner, there’s mention of a Canis lupus familiaris — commonly referred to as a dog. The police stated there wasn’t anyone home at the time of the fire, so we know something strange is going on right from the jump. Either there was some sort of electrical malfunction with the grow that sparked the flames, or…
The dog did it.
I know, I know, crazy right? Think about it for a second, though.
This poor pooch was trapped in the house all day with nothing to do and no Netflix logins. After a few hours of pacing the house trying to remember if there were any bones hidden he forgot about, “Sparky” (as we’ll refer to our four-legged leading suspect) decided to dig into the stash. Normally, this wouldn’t have been an issue, as nobody with pounds and pounds of extra weed laying around would care if their best friend packed a bowl. However, Sparky lacks an essential part of the smoking equation: opposable thumbs. With nobody home to help Sparky light up, he was forced to undertake the challenge by himself, subsequently engulfing the entire crop (and roof) in flames.
